Because I wondered aloud about the 'blood' on the floor, Ted decided to protect us by pulling out a knife and talking about God. (That was actually some more like I would do.... how dare he?) Now I knew I had hit the bottom.... I was stuck in the basement of Hotel California with a guy named Tweaker Ted, who's carrying a knife and talking about God. I knew this moment was heavy!
After we made our exit, I vowed never to be nice to the guy again.... which wasn't easy because I am actually a nice person. NOT the best trait to bring to Los Angeles, it turns out!!
Welcome back, RJ.... where were we? (it's now March 27th, 2012)
So, ranting became my normal tone of voice when it came to Tweaker Ted. I had spoken to him, learned that he came from..... or claimed to have come from.... a family whose murder/suicide left him an orphan. Huey Duey (or some mentally slow, overweight duck from my past cartoon days) was my image of him..... but as I write this, DIM.... CLOCKWORK ORANGE. But regardless of how dangerous this kid might have been, it didn't stop me from being openly hostile. If everyone was going.... everyone BUT HIM, was allowed in my car. I remember one day standing at the locked door of my shop hollering through the glass door.... GO AWAY!!!! And with cheerleader like arm gestures, I pointed the way out. Toward Hollywood Boulevard. My shop was located at 6727 3/4 Hollywood Boulevard. I had never had a fraction address before or maybe since.
Across the boulevard from my shop was the Scientology building. Tweaker Ted once pointed out the people in the green jackets that never traveled alone, and he warned me, "Those people are really weird!!" In a town overrun by gang-bangers, hookers, biker, transvestites, and tourists, it occurred to me, How weird DO these people have to be for this guy to warn me??? (I owe him a thanks on that one!)
One thing I had counted upon was that the meaner I was, the nicer he was. I hated to default to that, but I was learning quickly that I couldn't be everyone's friend. And vice versa. Still trying to learn that, sigh.... (And Jaxon Raziah took cover!)
So.... it wasn't like I was used to having mean thoughts, but by now my inner voice was starting to take on a Tara characteristic. (Tara is a character in Chance of a Lifetime..... located as the rabbit, in the Mad World main page)
This meeting of Tweaker Ted took place in February of 1991, I am guessing based upon two memories that I hope serve true. On New Year's Day, I walked out of the biker party into a too bright sun, realizing that I had nowhere to be for the rest of my life... except out of my apartment in 30 days. (I don't know what compelled me to give notice, and to take a shot at opening a shop on the Boulevard..... but again, this is why this story is exciting.) I had mistakenly signed a month to month lease on a commercial property, breaking rule number one, I would later learn.... again. So after moving out of this shop's time, I found myself on the 'Great American Couch Tour of 1991' and I am sure you know plenty of sofa surfers in the world. It was actually living my biggest fear at the time. Homeless. But alas, I had a nice car and a lot of cool places to roam, so it was a very liberating, learning experience. NOT RECOMMENDED!
Now I had been 'gifted' with what George would later tell me was called 'Astral Vision' but that would be skipping ahead, too far. And besides, he's not part of this story... I don't think. We'll see...
Astral Vision, as I guess I refer to it although having never looked it up online I suppose I am merely using this phrase for lack of a better term, wasn't really that much fun! Since January 3, 1991, when Narcy and I watched a military funeral parade through her apartment, I had wholeheartedly opted to ignore anything and everything that.... um.... showed up. But somewhere in the following months, I recall sitting in a darkened parking lot somewhere in Hollywood, bored and waiting for some dealer to show.
Being easily entertained by my own musings, I casually pondered, "I wonder if there is really anything to this stuff." And by this stuff, I meant.... spirits.... ghosts.... stuff that I see in the corner of the room but if I sit shifted slightly I can watch TV without it being in my peripheral vision.
And once more, it was a door way to the other side kicked open. So many spirits came out of the shadows and flew directly at me. I was freaked out.... but it was a manic laughter on my part. Suddenly it was as if I could see everyone who had ever been in Hollywood was back again. I saw so many 'people' in the middle of the night, empty streets, that at one point I almost ran over a guy walking his dog because I thought they were ghosts. I don't think the guy knew though.... The story about George will come up again, btw. He's a very interesting character!
From time to time, my thoughts surprise me... For example, when rumor had it Tweaker Ted was dead, I'll admit, my first thought was, "Couldn't have happened to a nicer fella...!" And then I scolded myself for such wicked thoughts. But the memory stuck. Then rumor had it Tweaker Ted was murdered. And again my thoughts seemed rather callous, and that again, surprised me. Strangely, I found it to be a new, intriguing lack of compassion that was surprising to me how well it fit. I wasn't used to being so....... cold. Hmmm...
One night, I am guessing around October that year, 1991, I found myself at a club called Spice, I believe, located at the corner of... Hollywood.... and.... La Brea, I am going to say. Ron Jeremy lives or lived really close, but not that I ever went 'there.' Nope... thanks.
I remember standing on a stage (don't know why), in the VIP room, having just used my Universal Back Stage Pass, basically coat-tailing Sam and Bill Kinison to that private area. I had just seen Sam perform Wild Thing, and of course had to talk to him. (I will have to tell his story elsewhere)
I was talking to James LoMenzo, of White Lion fame.... and apparently of Megadeth fame, I just learned from online.... crap, RJ!! Okay... where was I.... oh yeah, realizing stuff that I really wish I had known a LONG time before this moment!!! But anyway.... James LoMenzo and I were talking about his band, my TV show, and him being on that show... and we exchanged phone numbers, and from time to time I would call him, always surprised his girlfriend seemed so relaxed and yet, I was not any threat to her. I had no idea who he was... or is... still. Haven't really looked past the correct spelling of his name. And a brief glance at Megadeth. A band I do know a little bit about. Seen a couple of times. Again, I digress.
So I was talking to James about whatever and trying to be all professional, networking like... and low and behold, Tweaker Ted walks by.
"Wow!" I mentioned to James, "I thought that guy was dead! Hmmm... oh well, anyway...."
And went back to talking about whatever, catching a number... and moving on with my night.
Right after the club called last call, we... me and, I think, Miami... Mark Stauffer.... went back to an apartment, quickly enjoying a moment of peace before what was to come next. I had no idea.... Back in those days, back in that place, a certain television channel was dedicated to the security of the front door. He called it TWEAKER VISION. It was interesting to see who was flowing back from a night out on the town. He would basically call out the play by play, having exactly timed how long it would take for the visitor to make it to the front door of the one room apartment. In a matter of about half an hour, the room we had once share alone was now filled to the brim with jacked up, fucked up partying people. My people!