How Was Joan Jett?

7:09 AM 9/4/2011

How was Joan Jett?

I don't know... I didn't ask.
BUT I did go to her show and she rocked, of course...

Back the truck up...

Last Sunday, aka August 28th was my birthday... Hurricane Irene was in the Big Apple... I was at Applebee's.

Hollywood... aka Holly... threw me a party, let me wish on some candles, and gifted me the two tickets that I had spent two months wondering how I was going to get. I had gone to great lengths of 'no trouble at all' in effort, but in theory, I was prepared two months ago to get into this show... for free... and in style. One day bowling, I had gotten handwritten info about who and what when where whatever... but in some random act of blindness, decided that the 'bowling league schedule' would best be recycled. So I think I either handed it back to the guy behind the counter, OR it's in my purse... or purse-like area... floorboard... who knows?

I had a basic idea of who to talk to though... just never did.

We arrived, decided to invent our own parking area in dirt, and wandered around trying to find the gate. I said I was willing to climb the fence but I couldn't get the security guy to help me.

Finally, at the front door of the casino... a gentleman held the door open for us, which of course was greatly appreciated by us women folk... especially since I glanced at his laminents, and wow, he's the guy! Who? Ben Fernandez. (psst... he's the guy who put the show together... and being greeted at the front door, meant 'in style' and more about 'for free' in a bit)

So... once again, I am reminded NEVER LET HOLLY PICK WHAT TIME TO GO TO SHOWS.... because she likes to be there on time. I like to be there really early... or a little late. In last night's case, we were just in time to stand in line. And I loved it! It's like the first time I have stood in a line since... I don't remember the last time. I don't mean lines, like at the store.... but lines where you want to stand in it.

(Personal note- LINE CUTTING TIP - Don't ask a stranger in a line if you can cut in front of them... ask if you can cut in line behind them. Works.)

Since 9/11 (which is an inside job, just saying), the security measures now include a prostrate exam... even if you don't have one... it was a moment of flash awareness that I, your humble narrator... not Alex tho, faced the Arlo Guthrie reality check. (Something about him flying into Nawlins with a couple of Keys... or some such trafficking situation) (ok... I will dumb it down for you... I had 'medication' on me, and regardless of the license next to it, I learned from a Pink Floyd show, that you have to take certain measures to mule your own stash past the facists... I mean, security.

Setting the scene for you... I'm next to be next. Remembered... oh yeah... so I pulled out what could have been 'awkward to address' and tucked it under my armpit, which is a great place, in case you didn't know. So smooth... lady checks my purse. Great... oh crap... here comes the guy who is either going to stick that wand metal detector somewhere near me OR he's going to touch me. Either way, by the raised arms of the 'no longer next' person, I knew one thing for sure. I needed my armpit back. Just as quickly I tucked it back into my purse. After a obligatory wave near me, he asks, "Did she check your purse yet?"

Either way, the answer would have been YES... and I was actually momentarily worried I would not be able to pull off the first half of the magic trick again... but anyway, me being a meek and mild, not so milf like wasp, I get away with so much. Put me in a mini-van and I could be far from 'racially profiled' as anything more dangerous than a soccer mom. But I digress... but never underestimate the tenacity of a soccer mom, or the potential danger.

So, where was I... I was in line, and Hollywood saw Tessa. Remember Tessa? (Back story... KDUR co-host of Something Wicked Radio... back story again... that's a radio show that me and a bunch of 'we' do. She is one of the we. She will be back in this story a little later)

Once inside, we are actually greeted by the very important person of this story... Jeff... who gave us the tickets!! So of course I have to gush appreciation! And the I met his sister, Devon... also known as Diane. Not because that's her name but because I called her that for about half the show. Turns out, Diane was in line in front of us. I see beer. I remembered suddenly, beer is good. That's when I figured out that the wrist bands had drink tickets, so as to limit the amount to five drinks per drinker. BUT what if I were to canvass the audience, buying and selling beer tickets... I don't know how I would make money exactly. I had about three of said beers in me when I had that brilliant, money making idea. Kinda sober now... doesn't seem as clever.

Since I am crazy, I can't possibly sit still... so like a crazy person, I ran around... I mean, I walked around and tried to play catch up on the concept of meet-and-greet of the production staff. Why? Because I want to do a show... or at least get shows done.

Besides, if Holly had not been asked, I would have done this before the show... and in style... OR I could have been early and discovered that I was WAY too early. Timing is everything. One aspect of pure faith is that you can never be in the wrong place at the wrong time, because where you are is where you are supposed to be. The end...

I should have said... period... because that was not 'the end.'


You know... you would think I would remember how dumb I am from time to time. It's like I am 'all that' and 'so smrt... I mean, smart' but I keep forgetting to research things I am interested in, or should be. And I need to remember to do this research in a timely manner, preferably BEFORE I encounter the need to know. For example, in the Durango Herald article I just read twelve hours after the show, I see that 1982 was a Joan Jett year. I saw her in... 1982, I think. Texas Jam, Astrodome... Houston. (other bands on the stage, not mentioned here)

ACTUALLY... Trying not to be so dumb, I decided I had better look this up. Sunday, June 13 1982 Astrodome (Texxas Jam) - Journey, Point Blank, Joan Jett, Sammy Hagar, Santana So... I guess I did see her on her big break out tour. NICE... but what is really amazing is that while I knew I had seen Journey... I had, up until this moment, thought I had seen .38 Special... but Point Blank instead... gun theme must have been on my mind. But according to all my two minutes of research has brought back, I have seen Santana in concert. And Sammy Hagar, twice now. HMMMM>>>> hmmm...

And... there is now an extra X in the word Texas.

Just to let you know, 19 years isn't the longest it's taken me to 'catch on' to something... I have infinite opportunity to discover how ignorant I am still to come. Awareness messes with my bliss.

Since we stood in a line and didn't show up at three like I wanted to but Holly wanted to study for college... what a buzz kill... we finally got in and the band on stage, I knew... I just knew... wasn't Joan Jett. Tried to ask around but no one could name that band. Fuzzy something... but Holly assured me, it was NOT Fuzzy Killing Machine. Which it was. Had we known that, we would have been 'in style' and early.... probably 'for free,' too. Why? Why not... but in this case, just so happens that she, my Hollywood, plays a bit part on their CD.

I had a moment.

Well, let's just say there was a moment...

I'm gathering myself to write this part.

I wasn't drunk. Yet. Just crazy.

ok... here goes.

Guy on stage tells a joke. It was a joke I just read online last week or so. But in his set up, he sort of fumbles the concept. Let me paraphrase...

"Ok... I have a joke for you... it's about a Chinese dentist. (I think this is the moment when I heard something inside his head snap... a sound I have heard in my own) Uh... I mean, it doesn't have to be Chinese, I am like all for Chinese people..." well anyway, you get my drift... so as he has now committed himself to this 'off color' potential in front of a racially 'dirverse' audience (not sure that's the right phrase) well, God love him... he presses onward. By now, I can barely see the top of his head over the rim of the hole he has dug for himself, and no one has taken his shovel away yet.

"So anyway... what time is it when you go to the Chinese dentist? Tooth- hurty..." and again... "Tooth... hurty..."

A silence befell the crowd not at all over-powered by the inward/awkward groan I swear I could detect.

The drummer didn't even give a rim shot...

It was a moment of comedic death...

So I helped... as loudly as I could.... "Hey!! Do more comedy!!"

I thought it was funny.

(FULL CIRCLE MOMENT - One time, in Texas... x... I was heckled by a girl who yelled, "play more music" and years later I finally had the come back for that, but I would have to explain too much to tell you about that... let's just say, it was a full circle awareness)

So now we're back up to where I was, three beers later.

I can't sit still...

Off into the crowd, I leave behind Holly... remember her? But I leave her in great company... Jeff and Diane... I mean, Devon.

Hi... my name is...

That's when I met Randy. He has a little kid. And is in front of front row.

Turns out... I listen to two radio stations here, if they aren't all static in the mountains. One of them is KDAG. Who knew? Five years now, didn't really think to know and now wondering what the other station's call letters are.

After all, there is only one 'real' radio station that I know of... KDUR.

Turns out Randy is 'the man' at KDAG. Who knew? The DOG...

Did I mention that there was already another Randy in this story?? I know I didn't so let's back up... Zebra... the band. Randy... the man. I want to book his act for this town. The Joan Jett show proved intriguing. BTW... there is interest in this possibility. I asked.

I asked everyone I met, pretty much.

The first act I think likely to garner serious interest, however, is Lemmy... and Phil... and the drummer. AKA Motorhead. (Mikkey Dee... I had to google to remember... and I have hung out with these guys... just blanked on the name) (not the first time)