Diary of a Mad Hatter

Diary of a Mad Hatter


Dear Madness,

I am sorry it's been so long since I last wrote you. However since this is the first time I've ever written you, you will have to just understand. It would have been easier to just go with the whole logic aspect right off the top, but apparently I display some form of passive aggressive tendancies if I actually apologized for something so removed. Okay... I'm sorry I'm writing now. There.

I probably should introduce myself, but it seems in some circles, I need no introduction. Either they already well know me... or I'm really not important enough to warrant any formal introduction. Both ways serve me well.

If I have to sum up just what finally brought me to write such a long story so late in my life, well... I guess it would be... the past has caught up with me. And I want to catch up with that same past.

Rocky... Rocky... Rocky. I would add another name here, but this is a man who needs no other introduction. I know him. He knows me. And believe it or not, that's all that matters!


So, I have a million words and even more thoughts on this subject... this man, this madness... this project and these very words I bleed forth onto a black and white screen page. I guess I should tell you that I have seen this all before... and what comes to pass is something I can't quite predict. The dream of this flashed by oh so long ago... and now? I am unsure who or what I can trust or believe in... or whom, of course. You know 'people come and go so quickly here' is what Dorothy said...

Rocky, you see, dear Madness, is my first love... and maybe, just maybe, my last. I've loved him since the first time I looked into his eyes. His memory in time will always be that gorgeous, dignified man. I wanted him to notice me. I wanted him to never forget me. I remember looking at him up close. I remember looking at him from far away. I remember wanting him forever... but I was too young. And he had things to do... far away. One day, I loved him forever. One day he was gone.

Rocky... what a nice name. It sounds just like HOME. I live on a mountain... guess which one.

Since I have tried over and over to start this chapter of my life's story... literally (and I mean literally, as such), I know now that each and every attempt couldn't have gotten me to where I am right now. When I think of something as simple as being with my love, my forever love, all other worldly desires fade into a mere shadow. I've spent this lifetime, just waiting to write this very first page... and yet, I would be happy just being happy.

So... dear Madness... dear Diary...

or dear you, my only friend I have with me this late hour. 05:55:27 AM

I should mention that the Mad Hatter Project is why I brought you here... or you brought me. In time, the project will become another part of this very story. I've spent at least one lifetime working through the visions of what this story is... means... could mean. And considering just how important my lifetime goal has been, I find it quite charming that I would much rather tell Rocky that I love him. Just how much I love him... and how much more life I intend to live. With him... no other way.

But he is asleep, I'm sure. He has a lot of work to do to catch up. And so do I...

I wanted to dedicate this message to everyone I have loved, and yet... there is only one love I think of in my darkened chamber. And this love... bigger than anyone of us can comprehend. I love you all! But mostly, dear Madness... I love being absolutely Mad!

Thanks for letting my words be real....